My Sweet Pains

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Tears – an untold words of heart. If tears were not formed heart may die in pain. Well, pains of life control our happiness. The scars that humans draw in our life stays and stays. And tears and tears formed. It can happen at any point of life. It can’t be foretell.

New pains are not good as the old ones. Old ones are such sweet pains of heart that are best ever in this world for me. And no new one can’t beat it so fast. Old ones still live healthy. How can it be..? No wound ‘ll heal, by knowing the taste of frequent tears.

I admit myself tears surely wetted my pillow. For that I am so sorry for my pillow. But i am thankful to my eyes at the same time to take an initiative decision to clean itself and became self ready for being more powerful, for the next tear day.

Feel proud actually. Getting ready in one night means alot. For some people one night is not enough to weep out. In that case i am having a good eyes. After every tear i am gifted with – a deep sleep & a fresh morning.

I often deny my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable in one way or similar to that.

I cried more during nights than days. Day… not too bad for a cry. I know very well that dark hours can’t see my tears nor let allow anyone else to view it. But Light hours make it shine like a precious stone and are quite noticeable for others, as you know.

If tears have sound, i surely play music so loud at night. When we burst out, it has to be in a invisible manner. I have a selfish strategy that to not transfer any of my pains to others. Nights maintained that very well. How many more nights to go to calm the pain? Is it six months, one year, two, three? No answer.

Nights are worse than ever nowadays. Even though nights had conquered the tear contract with my eyes.., heart weeps at any time during memories are recalled or passes through my heart without any notifications. Its quite unnatural thing right now. No time to get prepared or getting enough time to be ready to face it. Totally unfair. No such preventive measures available in store for this.

Pains over flows in to tears. A tear drop contains mix of 100% of the compressed form of each pains. Each true tear drop express the purity of heart. Tears are weightless. But its a pack of ample of feelings.

I call it sweet. Its sweet because its all borned from my loved ones or close ones. Pains can be happen in peculiar ways. The time our loved ones got wounded by someothers. That as well cause me in pain. I can bear their pain by felling tears from my eyes only. If we share things.. with trusty ones that worth more.. Yes i mean it. Loved one’s confessions or shared secrets are with lot of pains. I was nearly close to it, several times. And that leads me to pray for their pains. I too get hurt very badly when they are affected by such hurty situations. Everyone in this world are in pains once or still living with it and a secret tear form during the night hours make them feel what they are & what not. Only pillows are aware of the pure hotness of tears. Pains can’t be cool anyways. It has to be damn hot for crushing overloaded feelings.

I lost my happiness somewhere in the pages of life. It failed my life and tear me apart in seconds. Greatest pain i ever had in my life. Pains never had any manners. They entered into my world breaking everything in a sudden.

I tried. And still trying.. my level best, for not to loss the same happiness of anyone i know, by any kind of hurt from my side. No one ever taught me how to hurt or steal others happiness. Really i don’t want to. Hmmm…. Thank GOD.

Some feels pleasure in hurting others. Rest of them are selfish. They don’t like other’s to live in happiness or don’t want anyone else to enjoy what they don’t have in their life. So cruel, right? They are always ready for breaking each blocks of happiness – may be of their own family or friends.. like a game. Those people don’t care about anything. For them their likes.., their life.., their wishes.., more important than anything else. Selfishness rules.. They all are on a wrong track which leads to their own grave of pains.

Tasting tear drops are results of crying loud. When the facial muscles expands the tear drop changes its paths of flow in a disorder way. Thus leads to flow over lips and directs to mouth. Tears are pure form of pain. Pain often refers to a burning wood – live coal.

I wonder.. Nights have fine sky, falling stars, moon light, coolest breeze so and so. Still it pains… inside? So my pain is more amazing & beautiful than all those above? I don’t know. I seem happy often. Am i happy? Is all the happiness that i shows.. are to hide the pains inside me? Some questions are not answered. It stays as like a brand name. Fire has no shadow because its the light source in itself. The smoke mixed inside the burning flames cause streak like shadows for our eyes. Same way the mix of pains itself formes a shadow in me. I am not angry or on hate with the people who all given me tons of pains. I accepted all with tears. Sometimes i felt like am a tear machine. It doesn’t shows that am weak or lost myself. I am strong. I cry when i need to cry. I shed tears. May be its my freedom to fresh up every pain often.. to avoid the level of pains to decay. No complaints.. no arguments..

I am okay. But i am not.

I only knows my pains are sweet and no new pains can break down my old sweeter pains.

Old is always Gilt.

– Adwin


40 thoughts on “My Sweet Pains

  1. This is such good writing. And thank you for liking #100DaysOfUrbanRomance. Hope you will like the upcoming chapters ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I’ve never heard anyone apologize to his pillow for the tears. Also, your “selfish strategy” not to transfer any of your pain to others is in interesting paradox.

  3. 1. How did you do that with your mast head why is your aannerin in blue block, how did you do that?

    2. I cry. I cry about once a month. Been that way for years. I look forward to it and get nervous if it doesnโ€™t happen for a while. I need my full cycle of emotions. Crying leaves me feeling rejuvinated. I like to look people in the eye while I cry, I enjoy that.

    1. surprised to know that (your 2nd point)…as per my understanding and experience, I would like to suggest that try laugh a lot and avoid cry because every month seems too frequent….don’t know what is correct…my view can just be another perception however what I’ve read is that the chemical responsible for sadness which I perceive shows through crying is not good for health…

      1. My personal point is to laugh & smile more as you can. But if you have a hurty wound in heart.. Just cry & make it flow out. Keeping sadness equals to ill situation. You feel more satisfaction and comfort after a cry. Its necessary one for being mentally healthy. No one can cry well without a strong sadness reason. We all have problems in our life. Not all problems hurt us. Few ones do that. Each problems aims for a fertile soil to grow inside, which may harm us. If a cry or tear for few minutes can clear you out from it, then why a secondary thought. Crying out is better than burning inside. So a cry is a good way to release it. It doesn’t mean we have to cry whole day or every day. There are some moments which a rethink of our past memories haunt or hurt us, to spoil our mood. 90% of those happens during night. So make it flow out, instead of hurting inside. And be ready for the next fresh day. These words are for those who still feel very sad inside & don’t know how to relieve pains. โ˜บ๏ธ

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